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Consumer Confidence at 26 Year Low while "Consumer Arrogance" Still Shockingly High

While consumer confidence decreased to 62.6 last month, consumer arrogance remained at 100% with everyone agreeing "The customer is always right." Always right? What about the people buying Fergie albums? What about men shopping for yellow turtlenecks and Von Dutch hats? What about people buying drapes that match their cat? They're right? Really?

No less than Fed Chairman Bernard Bernanke says, "Maybe it's time for customers to get off their high horses and stop behaving like little Lord Fauntleroys. You think you're so great just because you walked in a store? You deserve service immediately?? Why? Who the hell are you?"

Five Things I'll Miss About Carly Smithson

• The opportunity to use the phrase, "Hideous, braying trainwreck."


• Her great sense of humor that she kept telling us about.


• The untattooed parts of her husband's head


• Her annoying habit of remembering the words


• The way she could somehow gain weight during a song

Miley Cyrus Memoirs! Exclusive Preview!

Yes, a Miley Cyrus autobiography is in the works. And we have all the hottest excerpts like:

"When I turned 8 I really wanted a chocolate birthday cake. Mom got vanilla instead. That was how I learned to fight through adversity, even in tough times."

It's the Miley you've never seen before. The Miley who's not afraid to examine herself with introspection such as:

"My stylist thinks I look hottest in blue. But I think I look hottest in green. Guess who wins that debate? My stylist. It's important to speak up for yourself, but not that important."

Miley shows surprising maturity for her age. In such passages as:

"I'm surprisingly mature for my age."

She has so much to tell us about love, and life, and loss. How could you not feel affirmed after reading:

"So I have all this money in like mutual funds and one day it went um...DOWN?? And I lost like one percent of the money that was in there!! The next day it went up again but still I was like - WHAT THE HELL??"

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