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'you whipped me until my clitoris bled,' boo hoo bullshit

Sadly, Two Girls Chatting has now become One Girl Devolving into a Mess of Tears and Vaginal Discharge or How To Masturbate While Crying: A Helpful Guide. Yes, Jamie is without her Annie and the pain and heartache of her absence has taken it's toll. Like a busload of pre-schoolers disemboweled and strung up on utility poles in grotesque paper-doll chain formation, we know we must look away and

"If only this were hell, I would sautee your labia in white wine while thinking about bulemia"

Today for your blog-acious pleasure, TWO GIRLS CHATTING presents a hilarious "scraping the bottom of the barrel" compilation reel. These are hilarious bits from IM chats that were not fully hilarious in their own right. But, string them together haphazardly, insert a few titles and presto! - you've got yourself a ha-ha source like no other. So, put away your Ritalin and wipe the goo off of

"Scum that is so thick with scum that you can't even see the prickly black hairs on its wrinkled ugly face"

AS: mama's here [pause] AS: I said mama's here, damn it! JS: alright. JS: wipe up those leaky nipples. JS: baby's here to suck you dry! AS: eew. that was unnecessarily vulgar. What’s gotten in to you? JS: you're joking. AS: heaven's no! AS: I'm quite serious... I think that it makes you seem like a real lowlife when you say such things JS: oooh look at the beautiful flowy way lowlife