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Personal Blogs: Humanity Critic’s Hall of Fame Christmas Gifts

Humanity Critic of Virginia Beach has a problem. Christmas as an adult just doesn’t have the same meaning it did for him when he was a child. In fact, he’s turned into quite a Grinch.

What was once a holiday for spreading cheer, drinking eggnog, and trying to poison that gift giving fuck Santa, has now become a excuse to further my alcoholism and using the birth of Jesus to get some miscellaneous ass that I will regret later.

But this year, he’s going to try a little harder to get into the spirit of things:

Granted, this season I will do what I do every year and that is sleep with some woman that I hardly know, but this year I will be more festive about it.(Giving the phrase “Ho, Ho, Ho” an entirely new meaning)

Maybe if he thought about some of the wonderful Christmas gifts from the past, he’ll be able to better feel the “Jingle Bells” again. For instance, the time he got his first He-Man action figure.

“By the powers of Greyskull, I have the Power!!” is not just something I say when I ejaculate, it comes from the He-Man cartoon that I absolutely loved as a kid. I know, looking back with rose colored glasses He-man was pretty homo-erotic, wearing outfits that made him eligible to be the next member of the Village people and shit. But, he undoubtedly kicked ass whenever possible and the action figures that accompanied the cartoon were great in my opinion.

Humanity Critic also remember gifts such as his beloved BB gun and the joy of receiving a DJ set: two turntables and a microphone. But perhaps his greatest Christmas gift was the most unexpected. It was from the year that his mother bought him two tickets to Public Enemy, and then, because he didn’t have too many friends, she WENT with him to the rap concert.

Is there any more perfect example of holiday spirit than a young man singing “Fight the Power” along with his mother?

Remember that night, Humanity Critic, as you put up your Christmas tree.

This entry was posted by Courtney Gidts on Friday, December 2nd, 2005 at 12:09 pm and is filed under Underrated. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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