Lynn Sees Heaven

The holiday season has become so commercialized, so today I searched through blog-land, looking for some spirituality. Luckily, I found Lynn of the Seattle-based blog, Sprigs. She was telling about her experience finding inner peace at a Catholic retreat doing “poustinia” — a time to meditate and have an inner journey toward self-awareness and selflessness.

“Here’s how poustinia works. You are led by a nun into a smallish, sparsely furnished room. The room includes a twin-sized bed, two lamps, a rocking chair with a small table next to it, and a desk with several items laid out on it ─ a pad of donated stationary, a pen, a copy of the Bible, and a brochure about poustinia and Madonna House. A ginormous cross hangs on the wall, and there is a little thingy to kneel on in front of the cross, in case you are moved to do so. The room does not have a door, only a curtain drawn across the doorway. The curtain doesn’t reach the floor; it stops about 9 inches above it. I guess the nuns want to have the option of looking underneath the curtain to ascertain what you are up to during your stay with them. As one “making a poustinia,” you are to stay in the room for 24 hours (though you can slip out quietly to use the restroom down the hall). During the 24-hour period, you cannot talk, and you cannot eat. (You can actually have tea and a little stale bread, but that’s it.)”

With nothing else to do, Lynn turned to the Bible. She had once heard some interesting rumors about the Song of Songs, mostly that it was as sexy as page 183 of Judith Krantz’s Princess Daisy.

Lynn read Song of Songs. Wow. She read it again and again.

“It must have been a couple of hours into my stay, after I’d filled up on bread and read through Song of Songs, when something finally stirred inside me. It was a strong sensation. Palpable. I was horny.

Horny as hell.”

Let’s just say Lynn “spiritualized” herself — seven times that day.

“Apparently, I had really managed to get in touch with myself… just not the way I’d anticipated.

What the hell? They say God works in mysterious ways.”

This entry was posted by Courtney Gidts on Thursday, December 22nd, 2005 at 12:18 pm and is filed under Underrated. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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1 Comment so far

  1. And thus I find myself turned on by a convent for the second time this afternoon.

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